Whether it’s your first time having sex at all, or your first time having sex with another woman, being nervous is normal. There’s so much cultural hype about “your first time” and “losing your virginity.” One thing is true, you never do forget your first time. Here’s some tips to get you through your first time lesbian sexual experience.
1. Get to know your own body. Before you can even think about turning someone else on, it’s good to know what excites you. Yes, I’m talking about masturbation. Spend some time one-on-one with yourself. As you touch yourself and find the places that feel good, you’ll know where to touch her. And more importantly, how to tell her what turns you on.
2. Go sober. You want to remember your first lesbian sex. Sometimes alcohol or drugs can lower your inhibitions and make the first move easier, but you’re not as likely to do or say something regrettable if you’re sober.
3. Go Safe. Yes, lesbians need to worry about sexually transmitted diseases including HIV and AIDS. Read up on lesbian safer sex and be prepared to bring the topic up with your partner. Unfortunately, safe sex is still not talked about very often in the lesbian community.
4. Fantasize. It all begins with fantasy. If you’re ready to sleep with another woman, you must have thought about it. What are those thoughts? Does she throw you down on the bed and have her way with you? Or do you go skinny dipping in your backyard pool? There’s a saying, you must imagine it before you can do it.
5. Leave the toys in the drawer. There will be plenty of time to learn about and play with sex toys. Let your first time be simple flesh-on-flesh love.
6. Relax. Take your time. Touch her all over. Don’t got straight for her crotch. Undress her slowly, appreciating every newly exposed piece of flesh. Kiss her elbows. Touch her breasts. Blow softly in her ear. Kiss her neck. Caress her belly, her inner thighs. Kiss behind her knees. Smell under her arms. Massage her buttocks. Slowly suck on her fingers. Get naked and lay your body on top of hers. There’s so much erotic fun you can have before you ever even touch her pubic area. Enjoy.
7. Communicate. Ask her what she wants. Ask her if what you’re doing feels good. Tell her where you want to be touched. Communication is key to any good sexual relationship. If she’s doing something you like, moan or purr to let her know that feels good.
8. Have realistic expectations. Your first time with a lover should be about getting to know her body, getting to know how to turn her on and learning what your chemistry is. Orgasm may or may not happen the first time. That’s okay. The point is to get physical, get close, express your feelings of love or desire.
by Kathy Belge
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